5 min 4 yrs

In their Herculean struggle to remain relevant in the 21st century, the Victorian Liberals have once again donned their tricorn hats and knickerbockers and taken up the torches and pitchforks against old-timey military flags.

If you were not aware, cobbers, some nong in the tiny wheat belt town of Beulah has been flying the standard of the Third Reich’s chief of the army, this has been attributed by Zionist fanatics to a rise in anti-Semitism in the garden state.

In point of fact, nobody really knows why this rural vexillophile has chosen to display an anachronistic flag over his house other than a mumbled excuse that his wife is of “German” heritage.

Beulah is the type of typically flat, boring Mallee town in which you would only stop if you were bursting for the dunny, in need of a chicken hero from the gas station, or if your Nanna lived there. The flag incident is probably the most interesting thing to befall the minuscule population since the original Nazis walked the earth.

Perhaps the Beulah flagpole builder is an avid fan of Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel, head of the Wehrmacht during the period of hostilities?

If so that’s a pretty sad reputation to have; Keitel was a bit of a thicko and a shocking crawler according to his peers, despite his position he spent the war having his subordinates snickering at him behind his back or simply sidestepping him altogether and going straight to Hitler with their problems.

The Liberal party, in its ongoing chicanery with the far-right, covertly inventing and destroying suspect groups, have decided to join hands with the pro-Israel lobby to call for a ban on the display of swastikas and other antique symbols of ethnic animosity.

Their preferred model allows burly policemen to tear down the offending items and frog-march their owners off to the watch house. And it’s odd when you take into account, as we’ve just said, how much involvement the dark corners of the Liberal party have had with those who’ll most be impacted by such laws.

Given our suspicions surrounding the origin of a lot of the recent swastika daubing in the metro area, the Liberal model sounds like a bit of a hoot. We can imagine the miserable expressions on the faces of the young, spray-can happy Zionist sayanim, as they are fingerprinted and booked for a hate crime; all the while somehow thinking they and the Liberals have shared values. They always thought so from the Young Liberal meetings they attended.

Labor and The Reason Party are lukewarm on the idea; this nonsense comes across their desks on a pretty regular basis courtesy of bleating Zionists such as perpetual racism alarmist Dvir Abramovich, yet nothing ever really comes out of this staged moral panic.

The lynchpin of the issue, as always, is the intent of the Swastika waver. If the miscreant refrained from blabbing all over social media then decided to keep his mouth shut during the police interview, building a case might be a tad difficult, plus opponents of the Liberal proposal are already talking about exemptions to any future law.

Like the rest of the Victorian Racial and Religious Tolerance act, a swastika ban would be unworkable. To date, there has only been one successful prosecution under these laws and to be honest, a charge of offensive behaviour in the most extreme cases would have more chance of sticking.

That is assuming that the courts are unbiased and the magistrates free from external political pressure, which is a purely rhetorical question when it comes to the state of Victoria.

The Liberals are about as popular as Neo-Nazis in the state of Victoria so sucking up to the dwindling Jewish population of Melbourne will get them nowhere; any donations they lost by ignoring the Zionists and anti-racists could be quickly recouped by tapping their new Chinese sponsors on the back.

Our preference is for flag enthusiasts to stop being attention-seeking wankers by adopting the regalia of extinct foreign political movements and to start waving the Eureka standard, the eternal rebel flag of our people.

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