5 min 6 sec

Ordinary Australians hoping for relief from the insane power prices brought to us courtesy of the Australian government’s promises to its Davos masters over the fake climate crisis were given short-shrift as was to be expected. Jim Chalmers’ incessant core promise to cut household electricity prices by $275 was, of course, fated to be broken.

The big winners in the Albanese Government’s maiden federal budget are Indians planning to settle here and Afghani asylum seekers seeking privileges and opportunities beyond their sandstorm-weathered yurts and caves. The rest of us can bugger off unless we’re among the elites, so in that sense, it’s a case of ‘same old, same old.’

Instead, they get to fund more Indians, Afghanis and Indian and Afghanis who hold New Zealand passports into the country. But that doesn’t matter because we’ll soon have an even higher population of Indians, Afghanis and Chinese, which means that economic miracles are afoot. That’s not to mention the vibrancy and enrichment levels that will be off the charts.

When you consider that a country is determined exclusively by the health and size of its economy, then Labor’s short-vision long-term hopeful plan is infallible. Part of the Punjabi Package involves raking up $576m taxpayer dollars over four years and gifting it to the Department of Home Affairs to quicken the visa-processing process for our Hindu homies. It’s also bolstering migration program funding and increasing standard immigration.
Parent visas mean that all those Indian students here studying IT and Taxi-Driving will be able to bring over their ailing parents and lump them into our creaking and exhausted health and welfare system. It’s a win-win situation—if you’re an Indian. It’s Diwali every day of the week!

And those bright young things from Mumbai will be able to exploit their advanced skills with Chief or Managing Directors at the top of the list, followed directly by Construction Project Managers, and thence Accountants down to social workers and chefs. What could go wrong? Where once upon a time fragile male egos trembled at the prospect of women bosses telling them what to do, Australia’s eternal racist population will have to get used to Indians fresh off the Curry Express ordering them about. Not to mention, our overtly pale international cricketers will soon be sporting subcontinental tans worthy of the saltiest swami.

Now, we’re only speculating that Albo’s crew’s doubling of parent visas and the various categories of skilled visas are based on the discredited idea that mutant immigration figures equal prosperity for one and all. That’s certainly the rationale. However, it might also just be that the Indian lobby has become quite powerful.

The Australian reported post-budget how Labor’s Immigration, Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs Minister Andrew Giles was buttonholed by a Tamil “community leader” during a Victorian fundraiser at an Indian restaurant. Over strong vindaloo and crunchy pappadams, noted curry-enthusiast Raj Saini browbeat the gullible multiracialist MP over “Australia’s visa rules” and then boasted on his Facebook page about it.

Giles, who prefers soy in his curry, is also to sup on exquisite Indian spices as the star billing of a “Tamil fundraiser” at the Maharaja Palace Indian restaurant this Sunday, where he’ll make more promises, and shake a lot of brown hands while showing his garish pearlies for innumerable selfies taken with excitable Bout Bouts.

The best that your average Anglo-Celtic-European could manage after paying for migrant processing and power bills for new arrivals is to shout him a frozen chook parmesan at the local Rissole. And over a schooner of Reschs lambast him for fucking up the country. That would never happen, but. Giles is exclusively a man of exotic tastes and Fabian practises. ■