6 min 4 sec

Labor loves hosting vapid summits. These thinly-disguised jamborees generally involve bulk boozing and eye-glazing gasbagging by the policy-challenged restaurant radical class. This mob will gladly toast anything following their 14th glass of chablis.

Then, after effusively congratulating colleagues they typically backstab during the normal course of their day, the delegates will hop onto taxpayer-funded transport. Thereafter, they whizz back to their affluent suburbs just in time for an evening’s wine-matched degustation menu at a four-star fine dining establishment.

These are invariably messy affairs that descend into incoherent howling and groping staff while drunkenly questioning items on the bill. The men will then stagger into the urinal and spastically pee all over the floor before summoning an aide to drive them back to their estates before they choke on their expensive vomit in the backseat. It’s a Labor tradition. We also pick up their tab for that, but it’s all for a good cause. That is if you happen to come from another country and are seeking an economic leg-up in a better country where they give you free stuff.

We shouldn’t call them policy-challenged either. They do have one policy, and it’s very versatile. Immigration can solve any complex issue of governance you care to throw it at. In this case, it’s jobs. There are too many vacancies to go around, yet there are not enough qualified Australians to fill them. This is an odd situation for an economically advanced nation. But that’s the nature of paradoxes: what makes us so advanced is bringing coloured folk from economically deprived nations to take advantage of their best and brightest. If you follow the logic…

But we’ve gotten away from ourselves. Perhaps we’re not treating our reportage of the recent Jobs and Skills Summit with the seriousness it deserves because neither did they. Labor just used the opportunity to flood us with even more coloureds. That means higher rents, bigger queues, and diminished opportunities for locals. And the splendid thing is, it has the backing of major unions. Who knew you could live half a world away, pay no dues, not even know a union exists, and they’ll put you ahead of their fee-paying members?

The upshot of all this Labor hot air was that we will be bringing in even more foreigners, handing them jobs, and fast-tracking them into permanent residency. Harry Triguboff and his fellow Shylock Frank Lowly [sic] will no doubt praise Labor’s “vision” whereas the rest of us know we’re just being swamped with more ugly aliens.  This time the “quota” is 195, 000 “nurses” and “engineers” from countries that could better use their highly advanced workplace skills. Then again, the peanuts they’re paying nurses now will seem to Johnny Foreigner like a massive Powerball payout. That’s at first. Then they’ll collapse onto the morose burden pile of economic rejects along with the rest of us sorry welfare-state slaves.

Home Affairs Minister Clare O’Neil broke the news to the rowdy hall. She told the pickled silver-plated socialists from the party faithful that, “There is nothing in this room with universal support, but an area where almost everyone agrees is that we need to lift the permanent migration numbers for this.”

Mad, cultish cheering ensued. The crowd then hushed as O’Neil continued her slurry speech, “I want to emphasise [hick] that one of Labor’s priorities is to move away from the focus on short-term migrants, toward permanency, citizenship and nation building.”

Of course, their ideas come straight out of the guidebook for American Democrats—the idea being that all these funny new furries will all vote Labor and the country will turn communist in under two years. Probably already too late for that, we went that way under Morrisson.

Clare O’Neil was improperly manipulating the microphone at his point on the verge of a political orgasm. She gushed hoarsely, “Australia’s migration system is not serving our needs [Oooh]. And I think we should change it. Because the coming 30 years will look very different for Australia than the last 30 did.”

Well, it will look the same only worse, much worse. Nevertheless, she was on a roll, “And that shift is moving away from a system which is almost entirely focused on how we keep people out to one that recognises that we are in a global war for talent.”

We are in a global war for truth and O’Neil’s speech proved we’re on the losing side of that conflict. Bear in mind that this beaming bimbo is also the Minister of Cyber Security.

So, there’ll be plenty of jobs under Labor, only they won’t be for Australians. We’re too unskilled and not global enough. Australians can’t be nurses or engineers just because. Remember, that’s what Labor always stood for. From the day the party was established as the political arm of Australia’s proud Labour Movement, it vowed to do its utmost to help as many non-Whites and people from far-flung corners of the Orient into Australia to lower wages and breed us out of existence. It’s all there in the history books. ■