In what will come to be regarded as the most significant count of poetic justice in human history (once the new age of enlightenment arrives), German Chancellor Angela Merkel has tested positive for the Big C.
The Big C used to be cancer, but right now it’s COVID-19, or China Flu, which was grown in a Chinese lab and released by China using its own people as agents to spread the virus to the rest of the world.
But many will also be pleased to learn that the Joan of Arc of global warming, Greta Thunberg, who had to stand on a chair to reach puberty, is also claiming to have tested positive.
Greta is annoying, but she’s no global criminal, while Angela Merkel has the blood of White Europeans on her hands. The former hard-line socialist is responsible for over a million non-white ‘rapefugees’, mostly males of fighting age, flooding into European countries during 2015. Since their arrival, ghettoes have formed, no-go zones have sprung up, white women have been savagely raped and murdered, and the cultural fabric of the epicentre of western civilisation has been overrun by black and brown Moslems.
All of this with the blessing of who the invading hordes once called ‘Momma Merkel’, and praised as a saint.
Think of those refugees as a virus, and think of how the mass migrations of these fighting age fortune-seekers from the mid-east, Africa, and sub-continent are akin to the spread of COVID-19. The safest measure in both instances is to close the gates and quarantine the host population. Merkel didn’t do that; she ensured the contagion was passed on.
Therefore, it’s perfectly proper that Merkel should catch the China Flu, and with a little luck, die from it. If there is any such thing as justice in the world, she will croak while gargling up smouldering bile, her corpse resembling the ghastly mutant image of Dorian Gray, or a painting by Francis Bacon. Then, instead of there being a state service, her remains will be fed to a goat and shit out on an overgrown median strip somewhere inside the city of Chernobyl.
Yes, it’s surprising how, when you add a little and subtract a few, just how much good news is coming out of the coronavirus epidemic. Hearing young Greta is self-isolating because she fears she may have caught it while jaunting around Europe warning everybody about how the sky is about to fall in is warming news, but nothing on the scale of Merkel.
Back home, meanwhile, we’ve had the fortune to have turgid geeks such as Peter Dutton and NSW Liberal Party “powerbroker” Joe Tannous catch it. The latter is in intensive care at St George Hospital in Sydney. Other politicians are coming down with it too, we hope, and it just may lead to the collapse of parliament if we cross our fingers and say our prayers.
Even wilder news is that Prince Charles has tested positive, and he met with Australian High Commissioner George Brandis, so hopefully, he’s caught a snoot full of it as well. The news just keeps on getting better. Or Worse, because as soon as we were about to go live with this report, we read that Merkel’s second test has come back negative, which proves that there is no good news.
We give up. We can only beseech the good lord that she’s lying, and they’re trying to play up confidence in the German government by pretending all is well, but really, she’s close to death.
Still, she is self-isolating and must be sick to have done so, which means there’s still hope yet.