August 15, 2019


Samoan Prime Minister Tuilaepa Malielegaoi has a name which is as incomprehensible as his logic.

Soon to play host to a meeting of Pacific leaders and China’s Vice President Li Yuanchao, he said that island nations won’t support Australia or the United States against China.

Regional leaders are meeting for the Pacific Island Forum in Tuvalu, which is a tiny speck of lava-rock somewhere near Hawaii most popular with nudists.

Nonetheless, US and Chinese delegates will tomorrow be there to slog it out in an effort to win the hearts and minds of these useless coconuts. And good luck, since they only understand the concept of taking without giving. They also have no sense of commitment, much less any appreciation for geopolitical politics; particularly the sort that will swing back in their faces like a thrashing palm frond in a wild tropical storm.

Malielegaoi had the effrontery to say that if countries “against China” did not approve of Beijing’s influence in the region “they should come in and provide the assistance that China is providing.”

Basically, this means never-ending assistance, since the gross national exports of most islands consist of nightclub bouncers, football players, and outlaw bikers.

He said, “The Pacific’s only interest is to provide the kind of modern living, decent kind of modern living, of our people.”

By that, he means, at the expense of Australian and New Zealand taxpayers, but anyway, he went on.

“And all those complicated issues impacting on the geopolitical relationship between the past, that is far beyond our concern.

That is why I have often mentioned this — our friends and their friends are our friends. But their enemies are not our enemies.”

China is on the move in the Pacific to shore-up its strategic positioning and ensure support, most likely for a massive invasion of Taiwan, and possibly Singapore. It hopes that by throwing these lazy monkeys a heap of money they can get them signed up to the Belt & Road initiative and seize their shitty islands once they inevitably default.

Australia is set to let Samoa have 32 million in Aussie dollars. But that will be scarcely enough for these Island kings who are used to the finer things in life, like choking on seashells and getting stoned on kava.

Speaking of which, given that Islanders are prone to inebriating themselves on obscure intoxicants like Kava and betel nut it’s a fair bet that Tuilapea what’s-his-name was out of his pea-sized brain when he made that rant.

Hell, if it wouldn’t endanger Australians, it would be worth watching them become indebted to China just to see their dumb Mookie faces once their tiny islands are seized and turned into noodle shops.

Samoa's Prime Minister shows off the massive coconut doctors removed from his nose


  1. Cool. Hopefully China will open its borders to Samoan migrants and provide them with even better welfare than Australia and NZ have coughed up to date.

    All being well, China might put together a plausible rugby league side in 10-20 years time. When the Pandas play the Warriors, the whole PacRim will be betting its yuan on Sportsbet.

    Dystopia is too close for comfort.

    PS. Go the Panthers!

  2. How about that after all these years of Australia support and assistance friendship you sold out to the Dollar $$& well you can stick it where the Sun won’t shine so much for friendship and loyalty .,,,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.